S.S. Fawkes - CF-142AC
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A drink they call loneliness

Posted on Monday May 13th, 2019 @ 23:19 hours by Mayterial Droz

Mission: Pixie Dust
Location: Captain's Quarters, Deck 1, Fawkes
Timeline: MD03 - 2230 hours

After Ares had left and she had taken care of that business Mayterial had sat down on the couch. PaDD in one hand, glass of brandy in the other. Looking over the news on the sector. She had the feeling she should learn something from the whole ordeal, but she was clearly not in the learning mood at the moment. The news listed things like local ships looking for crew, a Starfleet vessel that went missing in the area, the last entry was about an upcoming big gala surrounding the opening of a new wing of some high brow museum on Rangalor V. Rangalor V.

Now there was a name that brought back memories. She took a big swig of the bourbon, in a distant memory the notes of a song played. She remembered the spotlight highlighting the dark curls that danced around the head of the woman on the stage, creating an angelic appearance, especially when combined with her voice. May shook her head a bit, she didn't want to remember this, she needed to remember the past year Meghan. The Meghan that screwed her over behind her back. The Meghan that nearly cost her the ship, her freedom, her ticket away from rock bottom. That's the Meghan she needed to remember.

The shaking of her head didn't agree with her. All the side effects of mixing the drugs had ebbed away but she still wasn't one hundred percent fit. The bourbon probably didn't help. She closed her eyes, seeing another flash of the angelic appearance of Meghan on the stage. She remembered those days. It seemed like anything was possible. She was with Starfleet, she had a nice side-gig pushing Chrystal, life was good and nothing could stop her. That was until some goody-two-shoes, starry eyed greenhorn officer came in and screwed that all up. Looking around the room she was in she realised, now more than ever, that nothing lasts forever. Her gaze landed on the little stone man she had glued back together on their first night out back in the black. It had toppled off the desk and broke again. She sighed loudly, knowing she'd be putting it back together.

Not tonight though. Tonight she was finishing her glass and then going to bed early. She rolled the bourbon in the glass and leaned back into her seat.

[90 minutes later]

The ceiling above Mayterial was spinning as she was staring at it for the past half an hour or so. The glass had turned into a refill, which had turned into the rest of the bottle before the hour was out. She had been able to get herself dressed in her pyjama shorts and shirt before collapsing onto the bed. Sleep still eluded her though. Her head rolled over to look at her desk, the clutter on it somehow still giving a perfect sight line on the stone man.

"Fuck you." May rolled over on her side and closed her eyes again, willing the spinning of her world to stop, "keep it up and you're getting tossed in the reclamation unit." she grumbled as she pulled the blanket over herself a bit more. She was just taking out her miserable feeling on the most obvious thing that connected her back to the source of the misery. She breathed sharply in through her nose, then out through her mouth. She opened her eyes and focused on a spot on the wall.

Involuntarily her eyes started to water. The emotions from the past few days, not all of them her own, had finally made her reach her breaking point. The tears slid onto the pillow as she quietly sobbed at the memories of a time long past. The people that had betrayed her and the knowledge that she would need a miracle to be able to keep her current crew together and her boat going in the right direction.

She knew that this feeling, too, would pass. After all, nothing lasts forever. That didn't stop this moment from feeling endless, the sadness seeming all encompassing, she hopelessly and quietly sobbed into her pillow. It was a way to release the stress that had been on her.

The pauses between the sobs became longer, the sharp intakes of breath seemed to quiet down. The last year's dried on her cheeks as she finally drifted off into a restless dream.


Mayterial Droz

S.S. Fawkes

"People can cry much easier than they can change."


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