Top Creep

Posted on Monday August 31st, 2020 @ 11:01 hours by Alexandria Farron

Mission: Safe Passage
Location: Alexandria's Quarters
Timeline: MD05 0230 Hours
1124 words - 2.2 OF Standard Post Measure

To the crew of Fawkes, Alexandria was likely brooding in her quarters, as usual. In fact, she was at her desk, pulling an all-nighter and plotting and scheming for the day when she would have her revenge. Revenge against whom? One might ask. Captain May, for sending a cat assassin to take her out? No. All the crew who laughed at and mocked her? Nope, not them either. Then who? Alexandria was out for revenge against her wife… the one who’d ruined her life to the point where she’d actually considered this crappy job an opportunity to begin with.

What kind of revenge was Alexandria seeking to exact, anyway? She wasn’t really sure. Nothing… violent or permanent. Not her style. The navigator liked being married. If only for the fact it suggested she possessed a measure of stability and some redeeming qualities that at least one other person could see. Plus her wife was pretty hot. Sort of. If was tough to tell when all she had to go by was a shoulders-and-up view from a medium-res communications feed that has lasted approximately ninety seconds.

Alexandria did consider the ‘eye for an eye’ approach, but in her wife’s case that was not an option. Mierin had no career to speak of. She was a criminal, but one with old world assets and an estate that the authorities had tried, but couldn’t take from her. She didn’t need to work, and she already had a bad criminal reputation.

That really only left one option… incarceration. The authorites on Betazed had only given her scumbag wife six months in prison for stealing Alexandria’s identity, entering her into a fraudulent marital union, and exploiting Starfleet’s various spousal benefits for personal gain. Six months, and then they’d let her out two months early. That was ridiculous. What was even more ridiculous was that Mierin also had two prior convictions for similar offenses, and had yet to spend a cumulative year in prison.

No, the prison system on Betazed was a fucking joke, and it seemed her wife didn’t really mind spending time there. Alexandria being able to hack into and tamper with Mierin’s criminal record might show off her capabilities, but would it provide enough of a deterrent for Mierin to refrain from messing with her life again? Probably not.

Alexandria got more of a headache just thinking about it, thought that was likely part of her ongoing allergic reaction to May’s cat assassin. But every day brought Fawkes closer to Betazed, closer to her first meeting/first date with Mierin. If she was going to find a way to make that woman pay, she had to find a way to do it soon. Otherwise, she knew she stood no chance against her wife’s physical affections and con artist’s charms… however amateurish they might be.

One thing was certain, though, Captain May could not be allowed to accompany her on that first date. Alexandria knew Droz wanted to. More than that, the captain had tried to get her to annul her fake marriage ever since they’d first met, and every time the topic had come up since. Even if Alexandria tried to keep Captain May in the dark, the woman would find her, interrupt the date, and cause her marriage to crash in flames. She couldn't allow that to happen.

Alexandria laid her head down on her desk and buried her head in her arms. She didn’t like being out of ideas. She might be a cowardly weasel, but she was better than this! Certainly she could find a way to outsmart a pair of petty criminals!

Then, suddenly it came to her. That Eureka moment, that spark of genius. Except it wasn’t genius at all, but the simplest, most stupid idea ever. Where was the one place on Betazed where Alexandria could meet her wife, the one place where Captain May wouldn’t go? The answer was obvious.

So it would be prison after all. And it would solve two problems at once. Alexandria would find a way to insert some sort of parole violation into Mierin’s criminal record, have her sent back to prison to finish out her remaining two months (it was the least she deserved, really), then arrange for some kind of spousal visit. It seemed highly unlikely that Captain May would be able to interfere with that, and Alexandria couldn’t imagine her willingly going to prison to try and foil the date from the inside either. It was perfect! Well, sort of.

Alexandria shook giddily and with renewed purpose as she planned out her revenge-slash-first date. As she researched the prison visitation policies she realized how easy it would be. Visits could be arranged with even the highest security level inmates, though those took the longest to authorize. She checked out a few message boards where some posters who were married to habitual offenders claimed that with same-sex couples it was even easier, and that some guards would just book them in for a weekend stay, like they were just another inmate. It was ridiculous. Betazed was ridiculous.

Altering the records to get Mierin sent back in there, however, wasn’t quite so straightforward. She couldn’t make those changes remotely. Betazoids might be casual about a lot of things but they weren’t incompetent. Any changes made to a citizen’s records from an outside source would be instantly flagged for investigation. Any changes would have to be made from somewhere inside the system. The, simplest, best plan Alexandria could come up with was to visit a public records office, or the local equivalent, and request something having to do with their marriage, like a change of name or getting Mierin’s home address. Surely Alexandria wouldn’t be the first long-distance newlywed who had misplaced her spouse’s contact information? Then the official would have difficulty scanning her identification chip, which would contain an embedded subroutine that would override and replace Mierin’s file in the moments it took for her chip to be scanned in again. She could totally do that. She'd just never had a reason to before.

Alexandria could picture it now. ‘Oh, I’m sorry, Mrs. Farron, unfortunately your wife has a warrant issued for her arrest. The authorities are en-route to detain her now…’ The official would say.

‘I’m not surprised to hear that.’ Alexandria would say with a sigh. And it wouldn’t be a lie. Betazoids were good at spotting lies.

“Bwahahagh- gagh!” Alexandria began to cackle with evil delight, until her allergies triggered a violent sneeze, spraying snot all over her computer screen.