S.S. Fawkes - CF-142AC
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Damage Control

Posted on Wednesday January 22nd, 2020 @ 12:48 hours by Mayterial Droz & Mercy

Mission: Hot Couture
Location: Engineering
Timeline: MD06 - 1130 hours


Knowing how she herself felt about the whole thing, Mayterial figured Mercy was also probably still kicking herself for the state Kari had been in. Luckily there had been plenty to do around the ship to keep their minds occupied. Pushing the old girl to her limits in the way that they had done had taken a toll. May softly knocked on the doorpost as she stepped into the Engineering bay, "Good morning miss Mercy."

"Just Mercy will do, thank you." the massive Sirran replied, sitting hunched over a circuitboard on her desk, soldering iron in hand and small round glasses on the tip of her muzzle. "What can I do for you, Captain?" she asked without looking up, her words measured, as her work took up almost all of her attention.

"We've been pushing the old girl a lot over the past few hours. I just wanted to let you know that we've slowed down." May pinched the bridge of her nose to try and focus, "But you probably already knew that. I have some experience in power management. If you need any help seeing to the damage we did to her."

"I'm going to need a few hours stationary on emergency power anyways. I'll do a check before then. Will let you know what, if anything, I need help with." Mercy glanced over, over top of her glasses. She sniffed the air a bit and flicked an ear. "You didn't bring any of that Whiskey here for me, did you? Shame." she smirked, though then turning more serious as she went back to what she was doing. "How's Kari?"

Mayterial reached inside her pocket and lobbed a half full metal flask in the Sirran's direction. She normally didn't share her personal medicine, but Mercy had earned it. "She's stable, Lorpax was able to stop his bookkeeping long enough to save her." She didn't mean to snap at the Ferengi doctor, he had done his job, in less than ideal conditions, and Kari was alive.

Mercy almost didn't catch the flask, she had to scramble a bit to keep it from hitting the floor. For a moment she remained silent, shoulders slumped, and May could see just how tired the Sirran was. "Well, that's good news at least." She sighed, taking a token sip of whiskey before gently tossing the flask back at May.

May's eyes focused on the flask long enough to make a deft catch and in one smooth motion pocketed the metal container in her jacket, "We should probably get him better equipment if we keep getting ourselves into this kind of trouble, though." she shook her head a bit, "you were something high up in the fleet, weren't you?"

"I made Lieutenant-Commander and two-ex-oh on an ExCalibur class. The USS Naglfar." Mercy sighed, then steeled herself. "I miss that ship, best and most powerful starship I ever served on, makes the Groumal class look like a glorified delivery truck - no offense." Beat. "Don't miss the starfleet work culture though."

"If you'd still be wearing the uniform, I'd have taken offense. But you're one of us now," May gave a crooked grin, "I convinced Kari to stay, after our last run she wanted to go back home. I talk her out of it." She shook her head, "you've probably felt the same guilt as me, maybe even about this very situation." Her eyes glossed over a bit as she zoned out, wondering what it must've been like for Mercy to see Kari in that shape after failing to fend off the Syndicate aggressors, "how do you cope?"

"Well, first of all, I'm two and a half times your age. You learn to put things into perspective, as you get older." Mercy flicked an ear, her words purposeful and measured, as she worked on her circuitboard. "A wise person from Earth once said, 'grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, strength to change the thing I can and wisdom to know the difference'. I've always liked that. And there's a Sirran saying that fits that philosophy well. It translates roughly to 'It is what it is'." the large engineer explained.

"Yeah it's tough seeing Kari in the state she's in. But, you know what? We got ambushed and I got drugged. I think under the circumstances I did as good as you could realistically expect. And it won't help Kari, me or the ship to wallow in self guilt." She paused her soldering to glance over at May. "So I'd rather dedicate my time and energy to doing what I can - helping the ship and crew - than waste time and energy feeling sorry for myself."

"I guess." Mayterial felt a twinge of guilt in the pit of her stomach, something she wanted to wash away with the contents of the bottle in her pocket. She knew it wouldn't help things. She knew it would probably only make things worse. And Mercy was right, she had to accept that shit like this happened and that there was nothing she could've done to predict or prevent it.. Immediately a voice in her head told her that she was lying to herself. She should've just stayed away from Rangalor. "I guess there's something to be said for soldiering on." she leaned against the doorpost as Mercy continued working on the circuit board. She zoned out a bit, trying to think of things she could be doing to make herself useful. Nothing immediately sprang to mind and so she just lingered there near the exit of the engineering bay.

"What other choice is there?" Mercy asked, setting aside a desoldered, blown-out component and grabbing its replacement. "No 'yeah maybe' or 'I suppose' or any such bullshit. Answer me this. What other choice is there."

"Selling the ship. Join a cult. Repent for my sins. Return to Betazed to make amends." There were a great many options, "Giving up." That's what all of them came down to. Giving up on her dream. Giving up on the idea that in this great big universe there was enough room for her to do what she wanted to do, with the people she wanted to do it with. Without being told that what she wanted was wrong, or unrealistic, or not for someone like her.

Mercy flicked an ear and chuckled softly. "Didn't take you for the quittin' kind, Captain." She looked at May, expression unreadable and possibly mildly disapproving, if not for the comical effect of small, round glasses on the tip of her muzzle, twenty centimeters in front of her eyes. "Get over yourself, kid. Yeah something bad happened. Newsflash: bad shit happens to everyone, every once in a while. And the measure of a person is in how they get up after being knocked down. Kari got hurt, yeah. Your ship got damaged, yeah."

"But Kari will recover." Mercy replied. "Maybe not in a day or a week, but she'll be alright. And you've got me, I'll get your ship fixed, don't worry about that. But your crew is still alive. Your ship's still flying. You've got cargo in your holds and a place to deliver it. And you've proved that you're willing to go through fire for your crew and your crew's shown that they're ready to go through that same fire with you. It might not look it from where you're standing, but - you're doing alright. So get over yourself and stop moping."

"I know..." Mayterial nodded as she spoke softly, "I know all that. It'll be better tomorrow." She ran a hand through her hair and sighed loudly, "I just need today to suck. Just 24 hours and I'll be back." With that she pushed herself off the wall and gave a meek smile, "Thank you Mercy."

Mercy offered a ghost of a smile. "There's no shame in taking a suck day. No shame in taking a day off from adulting. Migrator knows we all need those every now and then." she mused, turning her attention back to her soldering work. "My door's always open."

"Let me know if I can help fixing something, might help me take my mind off things." May knocked on the doorway as she stepped out of the bay, just one day. She reached inside her pocket and took another swig from the metal container. The taste of low-quality Whiskey screwing up her face for a second. Tomorrow things would be different again. Another swig. She let out a relieved sigh as the alcohol burned its way through her throat.


Mayterial Droz



S.S. Fawkes

“Maybe there's more we all could have done, but we just have to let the guilt remind us to do better next time.”


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